Into the Great Wide Open

So... your adventures are over. 

Oh no! To live, to live would be an awfully big adventure.

I do not have the right words to express our gratitude for the experience and time in our restaurant. We have been gifted with so many wonderful new people we would have never known. The blessings were so overwhelming, even without a tangible gain, we gain an immeasurable amount of wealth from this experience. Many tears were shed by those who loved our little place and we will miss each of you just as much... but my heart is full. Our time is right to move forward and our lives are forever changed for the better.

I started my day at 4 am, I went to my new clients, loved every minute of training and then got my ass handed to me trying to wait on the enormous crowd of supporters at the shop. Even with an hour wait, so many waited happily and enjoyed the food that remained to serve them. It was a blessed day at the shop and so much love filled the room. After a bit of a break, I headed to soccer and had a great game despite some exhaustion. My kids got to watch, my Mom and Aunt came too, and as we started the game I realized my favorite soccer coach from High School was refereeing our game. I had not seen this man in 18 years! What a day for such an incredible surprise!

I was blessed today in so many ways. Fate, God, however you look at it, everything fell into place. The radio kept playing the perfect songs, nearly all of our regular customers happened to come by today not knowing it would be the last chance - just feeling like they wanted to come in, and my Aunt who worked so hard to help us open had the day off and helped us close. I have so many gifts from this place, but my relationship with her has to be the greatest gift I could ever imagine. All the friends I have found again, all the new friends we've made... it is all just... it is perfect.

I have always loved the movie HOOK with Robin Williams... and that movie, of all things, gave me peace today. And I share my peace with you as I am on my way, second star to the right and straight on till morning...

You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting.




In to the great wide open,
Beth

Closure

I will make this brief.

Today we officially decided to close our restaurant, tomorrow. Every emotion possible is going on at once. I would be happy to stuff my face full of food and bury all the crazy, but instead went for a run, and a walk, then a little reflection, now on to moving forward.

I am off to bed, with my alarm set for 4 am... with my running shoes and clothes ready to go. Starting my day with some personal training clients, giving me a great start to what will be a hard day...  I will go through this very difficult transition with my head on straight and my feet flying! And for those on the training schedule for tomorrow with me, be prepared to push harder than ever before. I'm focused... anything is possible.

In closure,
Beth

The bridge.

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment" - Jim Rohn


I have learned to write down my goals, to give them out to the openness to help with accountability. I have learned that I will not reach every goal, and every attempt is not successful, but an accomplishment is achieved none the less. I have the discipline to go after them, and continue towards them until I am exhaustingly certain they are not the right ones for me... and I replace them with new ones, and sweat across the bridge again.


In happiness,
Beth

My plate of emotions...

My family is always celebrating with food. Really good food, high in carbs, high in fat, high in portions.

I want to break the cycle, but never do. I fall back in with them and accept the excuses we share for not changing. When my knee was scrapped, ice cream made it better. When my heart was broke, my favorite meal was in order. Birthday? Let's eat. Lost tooth? Let's eat. Painted the living room? Let's eat. Not that I can blame my family for where I am or where I was, but I can hold myself responsible for continuing the trend. I can change it for my kids and myself. It's hard, but I'm ready. It's time.

I'm not sure my family will be wanting to come over next Easter for a healthy light meal and a nice walk. I don't expect Christmas to exist without the forty pounds of sugary treats. But I can not eat it, not put it into my mouth. I will do it and they can support, or stay out of the way. It's time. These runs hurt when loaded down with weight, of every kind, and I love my runs more than that food. Fast food = Fat Ass. Processed= Weakness. High fat= Heart Attack.

I'm ready to live my life my way. It's time to celebrate my family, without the buffet.

In happiness,
Beth

Bring your own puke bucket.

I am returning to what I love. With some heartache and sadness, I've decided to move away from what I worked so hard to build the past two years because my dreams and happiness lie elsewhere. I've done a lot to take care of others, and put them first, now I'm putting my heart into my own happiness. By the end of this month, I will be doing what I love again... and I am happy with my choice.

Getting up off my ass and running, exercising, changing my diet, is not only changing my waistline, it has changed my life. I have the desire and drive to get things done again. I have the faith in myself to let go and see what I love, find my way. I am so grateful for that...

Enough with the sweetness though, back to my point...

I am going back to personal training. I loved it before, got away from it, and I find it is where I thrive. Someone once said that when you find a job you love that you never work a day in your life. I love running. I love working out. I love Arbonne, organics, nutrition, and motivating people...  I love to coach, and I love to help... so that's what I'm going to do. I am going to work on sharing my drive with others and helping them reach their goals too... even though I'm only half way to mine! There are no excuses for not doing what you love, now.

So here are the rules for my clients (which I already have begun to take... my final license test to renew is at the end of the month so get in fast before I'm booked!!) in case you'd like to follow along and use some of the rules for your journey:

1) You must have a medical release.

2) You must keep a food journal. If you eat it, claim it, make it worth it. When  I read it back to you in the middle of your hardest cardio... will it fuel you or add to your puke bucket?

3) You must take your measurements and weight, then only weigh every two weeks, measure every four. If you weigh outside of these times, I will write QUITTER on your forehead in black marker, because you will not succeed and you will not finish, might as well save you and me the time.

4) You must do homework on your days off. If you are not educated, you are not liberated. And homework includes studying how quickly you sweat out two pounds in one session from the at home workout time.... And you do have time for this, if you have excuses in your head already, you probably need help the most.

5) You must have written goals: A weekly goal, Monthly, and a big picture goal.... a weight is not a goal.

6) If you miss a session, you will still pay full price and be thankful I didn't charge you double. I reserve the right to charge you double for putting up with your lazy ass.

7) Bring your own water, towel, and sunscreen. You will be laying out, soaking wet, but it will not be from the pool or tanning.

8) Do not cry. I hate crying; It is stupid... if it is hard, get mad and work harder. I have special ears that can't hear whining....Yes this hurts. Think of Pavlov's dogs, only pain makes the doughnut taste like shit. It trains you to save your own life.

9) If you didn't puke, you didn't work hard enough. Bring your own puke bucket, every time. And if it's full, dump it and get back on the treadmill. Bone popping through the skin is not an injury, it is just a need for duct tape, so don't even think of claiming injury as an excuse. (True injuries will be acknowledged and alternative workouts can be used., it is not a way out).

10) You will not get injured... we will work in a manner that your body can handle. Your brain may not believe it, you may not believe it, but you will succeed. You will have the best life you've ever imagined.

In demand,
Beth

This little light of mine.

Despite the differences in our daily lives, we all know how it feels for life to spit you out. And I know, as well as anyone reading this, life too easily gets in the way of our best intentions. Withstanding the downpour of spit now raining on my parade, I choose to continue on my quest... I have two days this week I have not shared with you, although they remain written on this wall. As time passes, I will share these, but for now I share only my thoughts this evening. No matter you're battle, for health, for happiness, for abilities, for cures, for strength, for courage, for smaller waistlines...

For those of us on the journey, no matter what battle we fight:

I have walked behind you. I have wanted to be you. I even learned to walk beside you, many times down the same path. But for a few years now, since we have chosen different roads, I've walked alone. I no longer want to be you, but want to find me. As we all discover as we age, the ideal became human and the desires become our own. My path is my choice now and what lies in it, it seems, I place before me. I have often found my trail covered in thorns, with rough terrain under foot... but I have always been able to see the road ahead from the multitude of light shining in. Seeing the path before me allows me to continue to run, to give me strength to fight through it. I am grateful to run down my chosen road in the warmth of this light...

However, your path seemed so much easier to me. I believed your terrain was smooth, with patched holes to ease your steps, even free of thorns. I envied that; I felt slighted by it. Why mine had so many obstacles to cross, so many scars to bear... what I did not understand is that your path is too is hardened, only yours by darkness at every turn. Your obstacles were around you blocking the lights that shine for you. I never knew that others struggled as I did because I could not see your path from mine. I see now that both are hard. You stand alone in the darkness, and I keep running through thorns. And even as we find moments of peace, ways to escape, we find that when we return, the hills we climb got steeper and so did those of people we love...

I now stand ahead of you, holding my light, desperately wanting to help you see where you want to go, desperately wanting to be able to find you when my thorns cut too deep. I realize your path is not big enough for two... but we could go together through the pain of a path in the light, facing our fears and doing what is hard to find happiness in it's warmth.

Know that whatever you choose, I will be pulling for you to find your way, just as you do for me. I'll stand by you; I'll love you. And whatever you choose, my light will shine for you...

In the glimmer ahead,
Beth

You will not.

If you do not eat food that fuels your body, you will not:

1) Feel good
2) Be happy
3) Have energy
4) Perform
5) Get better
6) Want to
7) Play well with others
8) Look healthy
9) Get stronger
10) live.

In health,
Beth