As I lay dying

As I approached my house at the end of eleven miles, I let my legs collapse and fell to the wet grass. The sky seemed even brighter, as if someone over-saturated a photo and carefully tucked it behind the clouds. I suppose the sparkling floaters in my vision helped to abstract the moment. It has been too long since I ran in the sunshine and I must admit, I may have taken it a little overboard on the speed and mileage. I felt my heartbeat slowly retreating back into my chest. The sensation in my legs finally began to resemble pain after miles of heavy emptiness.



I laid there, simply remembering to breathe, trying to catch any whisper of oxygen that might remain.




 In.





Out.








 in.      













  out.








And as I lay dying, I let go.

I stopped fighting what was inevitable, what had to come.

That doubtful girl, worried, sickly, scared, overwhelmed, the one that wanted to quit long before the final mile.... I left her lying there. I had no need for her anymore.


That pain, in that exhaustion, I am so very alive. I can only hope the afterlife is half as good as this.



In my place,

Beth