Monday, October 11, 2010

Maddest Hopes

So many of you wonderful readers have sent me messages over the past week, letting me know that you are running! Your best wishes are greatly appreciated and my unnerved spirit goes with you on your runs... And I am still yelling for you to do more.

I received a stronger treatment today, which will mean that by tomorrow morning I will be able to do some light running. It is what gets me through the misery of the rest of this %^&*. I am becoming more patient with today's work bringing tomorrow's reward. Of course, I am still fighting the anger. I am angry at my own body for not giving my soul health. I am angry at the world for not using their health; I feel as if it is wasted on people who do not acknowledge or achieve it. I am even angry somedays at the sunrise for rising without my sweaty footsteps, and the sunset for taunting me with fiery displays that burn through even the most tightly closed blinds. I am even angry at my sweet doctor, for not have the answer that I want.

But... I move forward. I move on to brighter thoughts, such as tomorrow, where I'll wake with the smallest lump in my throat, not from the mass that hinders me, but from the happy tears that well as I lace my filthy, mile-ridden shoes. I have those days of hope that remind me that it won't be this hard forever. I try to keep patience for my body to continue healing enough for surgery, hopefully before this month ends. I have hope that because this journey has brought me to this stronger, it will see me through this with grace.

I'll be running the sunrise tomorrow. Will you?

In hope,

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