Limits

When you've push hard enough, you'll know.
If you're not sure, keep going.

In simplicity,
Beth

I get knocked down...

Sorry my friends. I'm not feeling so hot. It's been a pretty poor weak health wise. I am having some anemia issues, but on am my way back up. It's already improved enough that I can focus on the keyboard long enough to type.  Can't keep a strong woman down! Anyhow, tomorrow morning it's back to running now with plenty of iron and B12 to get me through. I appreciate even more the strength of my body and our power to do great thing with the right nutrition and good health.

Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of vitamins.

In supplements,
Beth

My Fathers Shoes

My Fathers Shoes

I remember one summer night when my Dad and I were playing in our living room. I was probably eight or so; we were living in a small house and looking back now I realize we were probably what I would consider poor, financially anyway. We had been outside all evening, my brother and I, playing with the kids of the neighborhood. My Dad finally came home just as dusk hit, and we had to go in. I remember the smell of oil and dirt filling the living room, and a soft scent of cherry cigar. You see, my Dad is an HVAC man, working all hours of the day and night for as far back as I can remember. When we did get to spend time together, he was always teasing and goofing around. This particular night he was chewing one of the tips of his cherry cigars, and began pretending to choke on it. I had to save his life, as I had done so many times. Only this time, when I saved him, my Dad looked right at me and grinned with a smile I'll remember for all my life. I saw how tired he was... for the first time, I saw how much of himself he'd given to make us happy. And he smiled and giggled, when completely exhausted, and gave another hour of his long day to make me feel important, loved, and special. I can never feel sad, or mad, about how I was raised. I never feel I could have had it better if... I had a great childhood. I was the richest kid in the world.

My Dad still works every day and night. He can't turn down a job in case they'll need the funds... "they" meaning anyone he knows that needs a helping hand. He gets paid in homemade apple pie, broken old TV's, bad checks, and kittens... even doing the work only to be paid "when you can".
My fathers shoes are still covered in oil and dirt, with soles worn through long before their time. He's my work ethic, my helping hands, my belief in others... he's my blue eyes, my laugh, and my dreams. He's my strength in hard times and my unwavering faith in my family. I could never walk a day in his shoes; I'm not strong enough. I don't know anyone who is...

In happiness,
Beth

A love story

I am ran 10 miles this morning. Got to see the sunrise, a few good friends I passed along the way... the world was peaceful except for the runners. I had time to reflect a little today, to think a bit deeper than usual. The funny thing is, the only thing I could think about today was my husband. I tried to think about what I needed to do this weekend, where I am in my training, all the things cluttering my mind because I have done so little this week in regards to my school and businesses... but I just kept wandering off. 

It was fantastic though, to get to remember the little things long forgotten about when we met. The little moments that happen when you fall in love. I got to have an "in flight" movie this morning, staring the greatest love story ever told. :) I am handing over the controls to my running thoughts again to let my mind do what it needs to do. My best runs happen when I am not in control.

In happiness,
Beth

Goodnight moon.

Goodnight moon. Your glow infused the night sky and guided my feet through the dark streets this hot night. You've earned a sweet rest. Goodnight stars. Your subtle shine reminded me to keep pushing through, that my efforts may be small but they help me shine in the dreariness of it all. Goodnight my million fireflies. You brought me through the miles with comforting thoughts of home. Goodnight sweet summer air. You nearly suffocated me and I hope a cool breeze comes through and kills you.

In the shower,
Beth

Stand and Deliver

If I hold you up, you sink back down. If I pull you up, you fall back down. If I lift you up, your saddness buckles your knees and you drop right back down. I will never be strong enough; I am not a foundation to be stood on... so if I'm gone will you even try to get up again? I run and I run and I run.... but no matter how far, I still carry you with me. Put your feet down, and stand up on your own. Don't do it for me. Don't do it for anyone else. Don't do it because of anything else. Do it for you. Do it everyday. You have plenty to stand for...

In strength,
Beth

I'm loving it

Why in the world do I live in the midwest humidity? It's June, and I was drenched after mile .5 (yes, period is in the correct place).

This is going to be a long summer!

I did it anyway. Shin pain, hip pain, sweat in the eyes pain, and it's all worth it. 10 miles in the last 24 hours. Now there's a statement that deserves a good tag line.

In the pool,
Beth

Do what comes naturally

So while I'm hurting, I decided to add another soccer league to my weekly schedule. You know why? Because I love to play...

Isn't great when life can be that simple? You find what you love, and you do it.

We give up such loves as we age. We forget how we loved to run, how we ran down the street to meet our friends, ran around the playground, chased boys (or girls), ran the bases, or towards the ball just because it was there. All of us, at some time, loved to run. We didn't think of it as a chore; it wasn't hard. We didn't consider the why in it, we just did it. Running is natural for our bodies and it connects us to the happiness in life. Naturally we are made to move. Make your body happy again. You can. It is that simple. Your body will adapt, and life will fill your lungs once more. Imagine breathing in so purely, as you did as a child, and feeling that laughter once again in your soul.

Let go, and let it run.

In-spired,
Beth

I hurt my self today... to see if I still feel.

I hurt. Every inch of my body is sore. I went through a few weeks of self pity, and exhaustion, but since none of you remembered to call me out on it, I pushed my own ass out the door and got going again. Sometimes, you have to remember that your goals are ultimately your responsibility; and more times, I have to be reminded of that. I can't rely on anyone else to get my goals done. It is time for me to dust off the mounding pity and get moving again, everyday. This is day four of running this week, day three of weights, and day one of soccer. I have dropped the five pounds that snuck back on and I am back on the wagon. And I am aching. Aching to do more and aching from doing too much.

In happiness,
Beth

Silent serenity

At some point I'd like to know what it is like to be silent. The debt, the jobs, the problems, the worries, the kids, the parents, the relationships, the anger, the responsibilities, the anxieties, the pain, to all be silent. Someone close to me asked when all this will stop, The drama, the emergencies, the hardness... when will it stop. When will it be okay to wake up and just be. I know one day it will be silent. I know one day I will wake up and everything will be done. And I know that by the end of that day, something else will begin. Only from that day on, I'll choose to let go more and take on less. I won't fight the world everywhere it's wrong. I won't take on their pain. I won't ignore my own. I am working towards that day of calm. I understand now, when people ask me how I do it all, when I didn't understand how they don't... I understand that they choose silence, and I didn't know there was a choice. I don't need silence forever, just as an option for the day.

I'll find the balance I need. I'll silence the crowds in my head as my feet hit the ground. I'll find my peace in a run. 

In silence,

Beth

Goal keeper

So far I have ran a 5k, or more, every weekend (or Monday for one weekend of the flu) in 2010. This morning, I ran it in less than 30 minutes.

As much as I'd like to lay around and enjoy my accomplishment, I already have another goal.

Sub 20 minute 5k!

Back to the streets... try and catch me.

In training,
Beth

Come on, get happy

The negativity around is killing my happy running spirit! How miserable do we have to get before we just give up and die? I mean it... life is hard. You have to work at it and it is a process. But why would you choose failure when success is an option?

Why?

Get happy people. Quit wasting my air.

In peace,
Beth