Sunday, August 1, 2010

Ebb tide

My attention span is short, not that I need ADHD drugs or anything. I just have this unstoppable desire to discover and try and, well, be. Change is good. New is exciting. Different is better. I love being this way, but it tends to sometimes leave a trail of chaos behind me. I do feel badly for the young men that ever thought to love me. I only found one man in my life to ever love enough to stay. And perhaps his secret was to never let on all the way as to how much he has me figured out... and how much he challenges me in return. I do feel badly for the employers that I would stay forever. My jobs change by the months, at most the year, never by the decade. With the exception of training or coaching, everything else has short lifespans in between. Running is my best way to express my desire to be free, and to change. Every step changes me inside and out. I have transformed a dozen times on these streets, and who I am is not entirely discovered yet. I look forward to many more changes, new adventures, and the thrill of the unknown. My attention span has found something to steady it's pace, something to remain after every blink. I love my children, my husband, and my running. I do see them in all that I do. Everything else comes and goes with the tide of my mind.

I don't know what I want tomorrow to bring; I only know I want to be open to it.

In focus,

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