Saturday, August 28, 2010

Forever Young

It is hard to be aging so quickly. Of course, we all are, but in each of those 365 days, someone somewhere must be clipping hours while we sleep and laughing at our naivety... I feel it on my long runs like this morning. I use the streets as a therapist, working through the days dilemmas, getting back to good. And I realize that, despite my effort, I won't always be here, in this age and health. I won't always be able to jump out of bed at crazy early hours and steal the secrets of life from the fog. My body won't always be thankful for the miles of wear and tear that my mind demands. I appreciate every moment I get to do this. Even when it hurts, when I suck for air, in the end it is always a feeling of unwavering respect for the beating.

Today is my Grandmother's birthday. She would have been... I don't even know anymore. I remember her as clearly as if I saw her yesterday, but as I ran, I realized that every year the amount of memories fade.  Today is also the day my parents start moving out after a year in our home. I know this will probably be the last time my parents and I will live in the same house, at least with youth on our side. I am lucky to have had them here, in good health, able to enjoy time together. I head for a final morning shower to steal the hot water from my Dad's sleepy routine. And one last chance to go to the door and say, "Mom?", knowing she isn't awake, but innocently getting her up to keep me company at breakfast.

I miss my Grandmother and celebrate her today by sharing stories of her craziness with my kids. And I'll miss these few moments of youth I could reclaim with my parents. Although time has not been as graceful to my body, it has given me a beautiful grace to I appreciate this age in my life, where everything, and everyone, is good.

In this moment,

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