Monday, August 23, 2010

Size matters most

If you have been lucky enough to be slender all your life, then you may not be as lucky as you think. I used to think I would never, ever let myself be overweight. NOT POSSIBLE! I judged all those Moms out there that had trouble getting into their MiniVan and wore elastic waist pants... okay, elastic waists may be asking for it a bit, but anyway... I would never be them. Just like some of you think. Not that I'm saying you will be overweight someday, I'm just saying it isn't what you think. There are many ways and many reasons obesity is an epidemic in this country. Some comes from pure laziness, some does not. But if you've never had to work for a healthy body, be it skinny or not, then you can never appreciate your gift. You may think you do, but it isn't the same.

To be able to push a body that resists you, to be able to fight your own DNA, your own weaknesses, in public... and lose time and time again. You build character. Depression and heartache too, but character. When you've given everything you have to just get to the starting line, you never lose again. The weight loss becomes a gain of self. Last place is the first time to cross the line. The daily mile is ultimate success. Walking past the bakery becomes heroic. Standing up to a lifetime of wrong and choosing better, comes from a deep rooted courage. Working out, overweight, in a room full of toothpicks, is the ultimate bravery. And every moment of it is aware, intentional, and powerful.

I may have thought I'd never be there, but I was... to an extent I am. But my slipping into a size 12 is the sexiest thing in the world. And still your nightmare.

In the new jeans without laying down,

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