Thursday, May 13, 2010

I can't pull you up when I'm down there

I struggle so much. I can't tell you how to live your life any better than I can tell myself. The information is there. The knowledge is there; but, making the right choices, taking the right steps, isn't easy.

Being different is always difficult. Changing is always difficult. There are people around you, and within you, that count on your failures and unhappiness to value their own self worth. Those people suck. Support me, push me, challenge me, just don't hold me down. I'm shedding the dead weight, unpacking the baggage... so you are warned. Feel free to dump yours with me at anytime.

I ran this morning...  and I wondered why it is so hard for me to stay motivated somedays when it feels so great once I'm in the moment. After the first mile, my life looks all bright and shiny again. But I come out of the run, and someone isn't happy, and somethings are stressful,  and everyone walks on eggshells... and it isn't so bright and shiny. And it can suck away everything I just earned. I can't, and I won't, let that happen anymore. I tell you all to stand up for yourselves and focus on you; yet, I don't do that. I let others control how I feel, how my day will be, and how I will handle it. I let others bring me down, and I can't pull them up from there. I don't understand the sadness anymore. I think it is so hard to live a life unhappy, so why do it? Change it. Change what makes you unhappy. I know, it's not that simple. But at least be doing something to work towards happy... right?

So I'm bringing happy back.

In happiness,

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