Stand

What is it that dies within us and makes us stop standing up for who we are? Is it so much rejection in the real world that we have to start rejecting ourselves? I see beautiful, strong, amazing people that apologize for everything they do. Excuses for why they aren't perfect. Putting down everything they do before others can. Do you do this? Do I? Absolutely unacceptable. I know I did this, and I know what put me in that mode. Only I found a way out and up from that dark hole; and I will never hide in it again.

I worked for a company that drug me through the mud, and continues to do so. So much so that I seriously will consider not posting this for hours. You may not even read it because I have been afraid for so long. But screw that. I didn't do anything wrong. I did nothing even remotely questionable. They hated me because I wouldn't risk my morals, my integrity, and other horrible reasons. I left three years ago. I resigned after they tried to fire me multiple times. Eventually they simply scared me off. I caved, I gave up. I never gave them what they wanted, but I did realize it wasn't worth my life. I truly believe the stress, or the crazy people, would kill me. They even threatened to do so. And somewhere in the process of all that chaos I started doubting myself. I wasn't as good anymore. My confidence was shaken. My desire was gone. I no longer lived after that, I just existed. I let myself go. I hid under layers of pain. But baby no more! I've come back somehow. I'm here. I've moved forward and even now, when they've done pissed me off again, I will not hide. This time I am confident. I know who I am. I am strong and ready to fight. I am right. I did it right. I deserved nothing they put on me. I am coming back at them full speed ahead. I run, now, have you heard? Only I no longer run away, from anything or anyone. My strength never falters. Bring it.

In the right,
Beth