Saturday, April 17, 2010

So moved.

So moved...

We've taken a billion trips in two days between the storage sheds and shop, garage and storage, shop and home, and back again... It is bittersweet unbuilding the place I built with blood, sweat and tears. It is a relief to be moving forward, but a hardship in letting go. The days are just as long now, but with an end in sight. I am even getting back a little of who I am, as if owning this closure is helping me let go of so many heavy things. I've lifted and hauled and moved and crashed and fixed and.... I'm exhausted, to my core. My business stuff is so moved. More to come, more to go, but lots done.

I've taken a billion steps running on the streets, training my new clients, at my new job. I love every minute of it. The early morning is no burden and I love the potential of that moment. It is pitch black when my day starts, cool and silent, with the world in front of me. I am even lucky enough to run in the sunrise, and share that joy with others who need to find that light inside them. This experience of change, this transformation in me, and around me, is a matter of choice. Although it feels fantastic to be me, and find what I love, it is tiring.  I've planned and pushed and trained and explained and... I'm exhausted, to my bones. My body is so moved. More to come, more to go, but lots done.

My friend's taken a billion bad things in my day and turned them all around with one single gracious gesture. You see, when it came time to run my half marathon last Sunday morning, all my training didn't matter as my body didn't cooperate and I laid in bed fighting a stomach virus. This disappointing moment, adding to the misery of being sick, made for a very unhappy beginning of the week. By the time I had made myself completely pissed off by Monday afternoon, I decided I had to run my 13.1 by myself or I'd always regret it and beat myself up over it. So I did it; my own half marathon just a day after my goal. My friend rewarded this journey with the best half marathon medal I've ever seen. You see, she altered the medal from the race the day before, one she earned, and made it so it now says April 12th (one day later than the original date), and awarded it to me, for my long race alone. She gifted me her love and respect in that beautiful gesture. In my run, I struggled and cried and pushed and dug harder and wanted to quit and endured... I'm exhausted, to my soul. My spirit is so moved. More to come, more to go, but lots done.

In hope,

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