Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hold me...

Did you ever let someone take your hand and lead you through the crowd? When they reach back for you, when you grab hold, all the anxiety and chaos settles and the world around goes black. Just the two of you exist now, and nothing can stop you, nothing can hurt you. It is the most comforting feeling, to no longer be on your own, to no longer feel alone. There are people who reached back for me in my life. They are all people I needed to get me through, even though I may not have known it then.

I remember grabbing his hand through the crowds at a concert, all the way to the front of the stage. The hand I grabbed through the theme parks, the streets of New York, the crowds at parades and stadiums. I remember grabbing his hand at Mardi Gras, walking through the masses until the daylight broke. I remember grabbing her hand when she told me he was gone, when we walked into the church, when we walked away a final time. I remember grabbing her hand as we packed the last box into the car, moved the last one back home, walked into the court room, and out of the bar. I remember grabbing his hand when we waited in the crowded room to hear from the doctor, for the surgery to end, for the results of the tests. He reached back for me as we walked in after treatments, up the hill of the first 5k, into the concert, even when the memories were stronger than the crowd.

I remember all these times when someone reached back for me. They come to mind so quickly and so significantly, as if they were happening right now. My soul is warmed by these experiences, happy or sad.

When someone reaches back for you, are you holding on?

In reach,

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