Thursday, March 25, 2010

When it rains, it pours...

What happens when you're life gets so crappy that even your blog that makes it better doesn't work? Yep. Lost a good one too. Deep breath, and I'll survive.  I do not like bad, sad, or slow. Those things do not work well for me. I need people and things that happily function quickly, and move forward.

I am in the middle of a mid life crisis. I have been enlightened to this in many ways recently and these nice long runs are helping me figure out what exactly is going on. I am not crazy, and I'm not unhappy. But I am discovering more and more everyday that my life IS happening...

Like when my doctor's "helper" let me know that if I want more children, time is running out. Really? Aren't I still at the beginning of this adult thing? Or when my son gets dropped off at Junior High and his friends want to hang out, all the time. And when my littlest steps onto his two wheel bike and flies down the street. How about this morning, when my body ached enough to actually take tylenol... my chemical filled enemy... and when my foot, taped entirely black, is struggling to keep me on the roads. And working to the bone, 18 hours a day, just to keep our heads above water, for something that wasn't even in the plans.

So as I ran, I realized I am there. I am at the mid... whatever. And I think the crisis part of that word is coming on fast.

I have no idea what to be when I grow up. I know that every day, I am not fulfilled with what I do now. I need to work on a major factor in the happiness of my home. And my body deserves to be treated better, inside and out. I am burned out, everyday, until I run. I have big decisions to make, as a big girl... no better time than the present to make those choices, on a good long run. Only this time, not to run away from, but through the crisis.

In mid,

1 comment:

  1. I had a friend ask me on FB one day what the heck I was running from with all of the running that I do. I responded that I wasn't running FROM anything, I was chasing sanity. I like your response, too. Running through the crisis, or running through the dark clouds to get to the blue skies on the horizon.

    Wishing you blue skies and a happy heart, my friend.