Sunday, March 7, 2010

Lean on me.

 Jack finished his first 5k race this morning! Despite a few worries in the first half mile, he courageously made it. He was so amazing. Cold and windy, even with a little rain, he wasn't feeling it at first. He struggled to get his mind into it. But once he got started, he found his groove... for a while. A few times on the route I wasn't sure he'd stick it out.  Then again at the end he had wanted so badly to give up. But he never quit. He dug in deep and pushed out a great finish, with a little encouragement from his Mom and Stepdad.  He came, he conquered! I ran a 5k race with my kid today. And so the best day ever began...

But of course things aren't always easy. Somedays are just damn hard. Late this afternoon, my stepson called and had been in an altercation at the park. He had already had a rough day with behavior, and I knew this wouldn't be good. At this point, his fault, their fault, didn't matter. My heart dropped and I rushed to find him... my husband was already out the door only saying Jeffrey was attacked at the park. He was ultimately okay, but I have rarely felt that amount of terror in my life.  Until I could physically see him, I couldn't breathe. I actually considered how to keep my cool if the other kids were still there. Regardless of what had happened, someone hurt my kid! The kids were gone and we dealt the best we could. And of course any problems with the kids puts stress on the adults... so our great day was quickly unfolding. Everything can fall apart so easily with a step-family, in a family with a child with special needs, and in a family without much time together. And we have a handful of all of all of that! We can so easily be torn apart and put into the negative. But we do our best to stay strong and not fall into that trap. I don't want to live in that darkness. So we see the light in it and love each other stronger...

We may not be able to have a whole day of greatness, but we are great for a whole day. Everyone is home and safe this evening. Everyone made it through the day, maybe with a few bruises, but by the time our heads hit the pillow, we'll each be stronger for them. Some of us got them from joy, others from pain, but in the end they're all the same. They all force us to get stronger, to heal, even if it's just to prepare us for the next ones.

Today was a great day. My son ran his first race, I was reminded how much I love my stepson, and my littlest one held my hand through an entire movie, in public! My husband and I are still standing and loving each other... so I suppose I'm enlightened today in knowing that I can always count on my family to pull through. No matter how hard the punch, we all get up and finish the fight. And with all the bruising, we sure are pretty.

In the light,

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