Thursday, January 28, 2010

Coming up short...

I'm always running short until the last minute, and then manage to figure it out. In our soccer league, we always have two girls warming up and at the last minute we find a third and are able to play. At the shop, when we're about to close the doors for good, an unbelievable sales day will pull us through. In my life, I slacked on finding "me" time for the last ten years, then a huge medical scare kicked my ass back into gear. When I run, the last few minutes are always harder as I try to make up for lost time. Every aspect of my life comes down to last minute. I am a procrastinator, yet I manage to do more than most every day. If I were a planner, I could be asleep right now and quite possibly a millionaire. But I'm not, and I'm still poor (financially anyway!).

So, in true form, I put off my run today. It's cold. It's icy. I just feel exhausted. It's Thursday, the day when someone always calls off at the shop and I am ending three straight 18 hour days and am on my way to one more. I don't want to do anything on Thursday nights but cry, or punch something, by the time I get home. Thursdays are not my favorite days but they keep coming back anyway.

 I discovered something today... I need these Thursdays. All the other days wouldn't be as great without the bad one to measure them by (thanks for reminding me!)... My Thursday is my day to procrastinate, so I can save my week on Friday. And apparently this is a day I need to have to function at my best. When I run on Thursday evenings, I always want to quit. It always hurts. And I dig deeper on Thursdays than any other day of the week. I feel less enlightened than any other day of the week. But not this day! I am enlightened again: I don't enjoy running on Thursday nights. So guess what? I am not running on Thursdays when I work this schedule. I will run on Friday mornings instead! How genius of me. Fridays had been my night off for soccer, but that doesn't mean I can't run in the mornings. Sometimes it takes me awhile to see the obvious.. I know.

I am so hard on myself, because I am a procrastinator, that I do too much and don't leave wiggle room. When it gets this hard, I need to remember why I am running. How good it feels, how it is making me stronger, how I get more out of it than I put into it. I also need to remember that I need recovery days; they are so important. And if I am good at pulling things together last minute, why not do it for my runs too! Use my recovery days wisely... Friday mornings are my last chance to get all the miles in for the week; perfect for me to pull myself to victory last minute.

I'm off now to set my alarm and get ready to wake up running. Of course I'll put off getting my clothes together for the morning... they'll magically appear when I need them.

~In happiness,

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