Do you ever wonder "what if?" I certainly do. Sometimes with regret, but mostly with wonder. The "what ifs" hit you hard on a long run. I suppose it's a little soul searching, a little self discovery; maybe even a little escape. No one ever shares "what ifs". These are our own dark shadows stretching from our souls as they hit the pavement. The choices we've made make us who we are, just as much as the choices we don't. Perhaps it is simply the opportunity to choose that defines us. I find my thoughts run as fast as my feet. So my feet tend to move slower on the regrets than on the wonder. I even run into the past, into moments, when I'm at a slow pace. A chance to choose the other road for a moment. Not to choose someone else, or to choose to "not" do something, but to choose to do something. To say what should have been said, to do what should have been done, and be who I should have been. I love these moments, even the painful ones. They give me the closure I need and a little grace to pass on to the next choice. I know I don't want to have one of these regrets ever again. The regret that hasn't taught me or given me the slightest sense of grace on the other end. I love this quote about my life on the run:
"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."
I am a girl who grew into a woman and somewhere got lost in the shuffle. Spending this year finding myself, saving my life, and loving every minute, good or bad. I have two sons, two stepsons, one husband, two jobs, two dogs, and a ton of family and friends to keep up with... I love natural ways of living, drug and chemical free that is... I own a restaurant with my Mother, I use and sell Arbonne and am building those businesses and now add writing to the resume. I am changing my life for the better because I should and I can. I love my husband more than I could imagine ever loving anyone. That is a great place to start each day.
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