On a clear night...

You definitely can't see forever. In my run tonight, it was hard to see much farther than two steps in front of me.  I headed out into the darkness tonight to run 3.2 miles (yes, 3.2) with about 300 other crazy people. It was 12 degrees at the start of the race and the first 2 tenths of a mile went downhill, the rest went up! A couple of spots had straight runs and few other tenths went down a bit, but overall, we went up. Sometimes to get motivated, you just have to go and do. I found a billion reasons to not do this run tonight. And instead, I went at the last minute and loved it; I actually loved every minute of pain and didn't once consider quitting. That in itself is an accomplishment for me. I can't wait to be able to run for speed. Right now I just run to finish and walk when needed. No shame in that! Just showing up and moving your legs is half the battle. I am much more sane now after a crazy day of stress.
So this morning I had to leave my simpler life of the last two weeks and get back into the real world. Instead of being a big girl and dealing with my stepson coming back home after a two week vacation, my emotions went into panic mode and I, as in my run, couldn't see father than two steps in front of me. Why is it that we just can't adjust and deal, go with the flow? Or at least why can't I? I anticipate all the things that will go wrong and get all crazy in my head! Life can be very hard with a young teenager with so many issues. So many problems for so long, and you just start to expect it on your daily schedule. This is my biggest fault. Letting my stepsons emotional issues get the best of me, instead of being helpful to him. I do love him very much. I just stopped being helpful to him a while ago. I am better than this and need to act like it! Today I just went for a ride, then started cleaning and organizing the house.. how much sense does that make? Clean the house and organize since it is one thing I can be in control of... just ignore the problems. It took until my late night 5k before I decided to even think about what was bothering me. First enlightenment of the new year: I have to deal with and find a way to live with GOOD and BAD. Yes, I know, we all know that, but how often do we act on it. For the love of my life, I can do anything. This should be high on the list of priorities. So enlightened on my run already... lots of sweat for this one! We'll see how well my learning curve does this time...

For those ready to head out on their own journey, I will post the schedule I started running with. It is much easier to get started if you read up on running form and look through Runners World or some books to get started. The schedule will be up in the morning! Want to make the change??

Here's to seeing at least the next hill!

In happiness and health!
Beth